The End of the Insanity
I can barely even begin to describe how crazy this summer has been. In retrospect, I’m really not sure how I pulled it off. Day by day, week by week it seemed challenging…but in a big picture sense, it was absolute insanity. In the space of 8 weeks, I emptied out my condo, moved 45 mins away into my boyfriend’s house, worked 40 hours a week at my externship, and took two online classes for my BSN. I did not get enough sleep, nor did I run as much as I wanted or unpack hardly anything. But I survived. Last week was the bittersweet end of the externship, without a direct job offer but with some excellent contacts and references. This week my online classes wrap up, which is such a relief. And I am finally getting down to some productive things around the house.
What else happened this summer? James and I bought kayaks. We also celebrated one year of dating, which is another insane thought. A year ago I could never ever have predicted I would be right here right now. But I am happier than I have ever been and excited to see what the future brings to our life together.
I didn’t have much time to spend with friends given all that was going on, but did have a few people come out to visit the house, and met up with a few others in the nearby cities.
Now that the madness has ended, I am left with a sense of impending importance. I am left staring my last semester of nursing school squarely in the face, and I have so many complicated emotions about that. Not only will I be tacking the RN coursework, I will also be taking at least 1 BSN course online…in addition to my involvement in 2 weddings (but only a bridesmaid in 1) and my training for 2 half marathons and 1 marathon (October, November, and January, respectively).
So the next few weeks are really the calm before the storm. And I’m not sure whether my time is better spent just relaxing or instead preparing. I want to just kick back and do NOTHING, but I know this is the only time I’ve got to get the “back burner” things checked off.
I had another interesting thought while out on a run yesterday… I was running towards an uphill stretch and I glanced something colorful off in the distance (past the hill). When I was far off from the object (still on the flat section) I could see it was there, but not yet determine what it was. However as I got closer to the hill it completely disappeared from my line of vision. It was not until I crested the hill that I saw it again and identified it as a flowering tree. Assuming metaphorically that the tree was my “goal” I found it ironic that while I could see it from afar, there was a time as I got closer that I could not see it at all. It’s like working towards something and not being able to see the end goal as you approach it.
Life is full of uphill battles. In fact, I would argue that “coasting” in life is almost impossible because as soon as you stop, you either go nowhere or you backslide. It’s almost like the battle uphill is the only way to go to achieve your goals and avoid stagnation.
My life over the past 3 years has been one battle after another… Getting into nursing school, working through it, and the upcoming battle to pass the NCLEX. Getting moderately in shape, working through the bulk of my weight loss, and now the battle to lose the last pounds and have the physique I desire. Getting my finances in order, developing a strong romantic relationship, working through all kinds of young adult/confidence issues… None of these have been easy, but they have all been worthwhile endeavors. And I am left with the feeling that I will always be on an uphill stretch as I continue to strive for the next milestone.