Big Decisions on the Horizon

So, I’ve been grappling with this decision since before I was in Phoenix, and the break afforded me some extra time to think about it and talk some things out with my girlfriends. Since then, I have talked extensively with James and with most of the important people in my life. Here’s the thing: I’m thinking about moving out of my house, renting it, and moving in with James.

But first, let’s recap what happened after I left the desert. I took the red-eye, during which I mercifully found sleep. A very nice young man on my flight walked me all the way to my new gate on my layover, either because he was bored, hitting on me, or genuinely worried I would sleep-walk my way onto the wrong plane. Then I had quite a long layover during which I ate some breakfast. I also slept on my connecting flight back home, where James and Bratwurst were waiting to greet me. We had to wait around for a bit on my luggage, which was ultimately not delivered til 11pm that night, but was thankfully not lost/damaged.

We had a nice rest of Saturday, relaxing and enjoying the beautiful weather. On Sunday, I ran a new 7-mile PR, James did his workout, and we finally finished Breaking Bad. Epic conclusion!

On Monday, I did morning speedwork at the Y, class, pre-clinical, then an easy 5k back in the neighborhood, for a total of 6.6 miles. Not much else got done in the evening due to distractions.

Tuesday, I almost overslept for clinical, but I moved efficiently and only forgot a few important things like my wallet and gum. It ended up being a great experience, and a beautiful day. When I arrived home, I tried some outdoor yoga.

Wednesday, I again got out the door early to run at the Y (5 miles this time), and made it to class with literally seconds to spare. But I blame that mostly on my decision to chat with some ladies in the locker room about MyFitnessPal and weight loss. Class ended early, which prompted a study session, which ended up in Mexican food, which resulted in a long lunch. I was gonna run errands, but I just headed back here. The rain arrived late, so I had a chance to study outside, which was where James found me when he got home from work. We had another nice evening…the entertainment of the week has been episodes of Community (we finished Season 1!) and Resogun (an arcade-style video game I actually enjoy watching him play).

This morning, no alarm woke James up, so he had to rush out the door, which is a bigger deal because he was supposed to pack for the weekend/week. Let me explain this other potentially big decision… James wants to see about adopting a third dachshund mix dog from a shelter 3 hours south of here. So we leave tomorrow AM, see the dog (maybe take him with us), and keep moving south to see his sister and niece. Then Saturday, we head back early so he can drop me to meet Regan at my half-marathon expo. It’s gonna be a crazy weekend! He has to come back here tonight to pack, but had he not overslept, he would have just come back to my place after work.

So, on the decision to move in, there’s a lot weighing on my mind. First, it’s a big emotional commitment to move in and literally spend all my free time with him. Second, it’s logistically complicated, and I don’t know if I have time right now with school. Third, it’s quite removed in terms of distance from all of my regular activities.

But on the other hand, I am ready for a change, I want to try renting my house, and I love him and want to spend more time with him. We’re in a good place right now, and that could get even better with this move. It could also get worse, but that’s always a risk. Love is a risky business, but so far all of the chances we’ve taken have been rewarded. I mean, we practically live together now, we just flip flop between our two places.

But I promised myself I would give it some time and wait at least until this next test to make a decision. It feels like everything in my life is happening all at once! Big decisions, bigger changes… Do I play it safe, or dive right in?


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