I had a really terrible nightmare last night. But to explain why it was scary, I have to cover a little background…
I have two family members that I consider to be completely estranged. I haven’t seen them or answered their calls or emails in almost 5 years, with the exception of Christmas when I accidentally answered their phone call at my grandparents’ house. They are irrational, they have made threats, and most importantly, they think I owe them a debt. This, of course, is completely unfounded. My way of dealing with it has been to completely ignore them, which I’m sure has been frustrating for them. Imagine if you thought someone owed you a lot of money and you couldn’t contact them? But then imagine the kind of people who skipped both their mother’s and their father’s funeral (my grandparents), as well as their father’s remarriage to my step-grandmother. They’re crazy, and I have developed a healthy fear of them.
So last night, my nightmare was that they hired some sort of digital private investigator that was able to “hack” into all my online accounts…in a way. Really, this P.I. was able to become my “friend” on all of the social networking sites, and then see what I was up to. And then somehow, this new “friend” of mine convinced me to Skype and tell him my life story…but unbeknownst to me, those two family members were in the background listening to it all.
Maybe it doesn’t sound that scary, but I am just so wary of letting them into my life even a little bit. I fear if I give them an inch, they’ll try to take a mile. They have been the aggressors often enough that I don’t feel comfortable holding my ground against them.
All of this has inspired me to lock down my digital communications further than they are. It’s kind of unsettling how much information about me is readily available. I don’t like that I can be so easily found. But it’s impossible to wipe traces of myself from the internet. To start, I have this blog…though it contains no specific personal information about me. But more than that, I have a business with its corporate location as my home address. I am thinking about ending the business though, so perhaps that will close a few gates.
Anyway, this is not very interesting. But the nightmare felt so real that I am rattled.