Hello world. I don’t know why I’m writing this on my public blog, but it’s on my mind and I am procrastinating on my weekend of studying. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. There’s been some exciting news that I can’t talk about yet… I’ve told many of my friends, but it’s not OFFICIAL so I don’t want to put it on the internet. Look for an update to my ‘About Me’ on facebook in the next few weeks, though. But that’s not what’s weighing on my mind…
I’ve had a certain someone on my mind a lot recently. It’s a friendship rooted in the past, and recently revived in the present. It’s one of those times when a person just sticks with you, even though so many moons passed in your absence. I’ve had this friend on my mind so much more often than I expected and thus I’m a little bit too wrapped up in it. I’m not sure what to do about it. The real problem here is that despite all obstacles, I want this friendship to be more than friendship. This feeling may or may not be unrequited, but I’ll never know because I don’t have the courage to ask him. I oscillate back and forth between a feminist-inspired desire to make the first move, and a negative view inspired byHe’s Just Not That Into You. I think I should just chill out, but it’s nearly impossible to bypass my emotions. So, I wait.
I really need to study this weekend, or else I won’t do well on my upcoming test. And there’s no sense in letting a boy distract me from doing well. Maybe I’m too pragmatic for my own good?
I don’t know about the rest of you, fellow citizens of the world, but I prefer outside temperatures within a fairly narrow range. I am happiest when the outside temperature is between 55-75F. Any colder and a slight breeze can make things uncomfortable, and any warmer and the humidity of the southern US can make things stifling. I’ve always thought that humans are poorly adapted to tolerating changes in temperature. We bundle up in the winter and sweat bullets in the summer. But that’s life, and there’s not much you can do about it. And that’s why it’s so nice when things swing your way, temperature-wise.
I’ve been rolling out the old bike a lot more recently. I’ve been biking to the store, to see nearby friends, and even down to the farmer’s market! Well, one thing I have discovered is that there is a special ‘bike zone’ that you achieve when it comes to temperature. It may be a blisteringly hot day, but as soon as I get up some speed on my bike, the heat just seems to melt away! Now, I know this is wind, and I could achieve a similar effect by just putting down the windows on my car. Of course, the big difference is that my bike lives indoors, and so I don’t have to deal with the hot handlebars (analogous to hot steering wheel of car). By biking, I also miss out on that oppressive level of heat unique to cars that have been sitting in the sun in summer. Even with AC, the first few moments of getting into a car on a hot day are miserable. With a bike, I only have a few seconds of heat before I get up enough speed for the ‘bike zone.’ And this is just a subjective measure, but I think it feels about 15-20 degrees cooler on my bike.
My other example of a thermal oasis is just today in general. A pretty intense storm blew through here yesterday, knocking down tree limbs and causing some minor power outages. But following the storm, a wonderful cold front has bathed us in an unseasonably cool day! It started out today below 60F and stayed under 70 until almost noon. High of 80! In June! In ‘the South’! And so far I have squeezed every ounce out of this delightful day. I was on the road for a run by 7:15 am (which isn’t early for most people, but is quite early for me). Then, I spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon with a friend of mine at a nearby amusement park. I’m inside now, but in another couple hours I’ll be taking the mutt to the dog park. It’s been a beautiful day!
More good things:
– I’m doing really well in my anatomy & physiology class. I’m having to work really hard, but it’s paying off!
– I received a second-round interview for a job that I’m really excited about!
– My classes end in just 2.5 more weeks! And then I have traveling plans in August.
– I’ve got some fun things planned for the next week, like happy hour, a local baseball game, and some pool time 🙂
I had a really terrible nightmare last night. But to explain why it was scary, I have to cover a little background…
I have two family members that I consider to be completely estranged. I haven’t seen them or answered their calls or emails in almost 5 years, with the exception of Christmas when I accidentally answered their phone call at my grandparents’ house. They are irrational, they have made threats, and most importantly, they think I owe them a debt. This, of course, is completely unfounded. My way of dealing with it has been to completely ignore them, which I’m sure has been frustrating for them. Imagine if you thought someone owed you a lot of money and you couldn’t contact them? But then imagine the kind of people who skipped both their mother’s and their father’s funeral (my grandparents), as well as their father’s remarriage to my step-grandmother. They’re crazy, and I have developed a healthy fear of them.
So last night, my nightmare was that they hired some sort of digital private investigator that was able to “hack” into all my online accounts…in a way. Really, this P.I. was able to become my “friend” on all of the social networking sites, and then see what I was up to. And then somehow, this new “friend” of mine convinced me to Skype and tell him my life story…but unbeknownst to me, those two family members were in the background listening to it all.
Maybe it doesn’t sound that scary, but I am just so wary of letting them into my life even a little bit. I fear if I give them an inch, they’ll try to take a mile. They have been the aggressors often enough that I don’t feel comfortable holding my ground against them.
All of this has inspired me to lock down my digital communications further than they are. It’s kind of unsettling how much information about me is readily available. I don’t like that I can be so easily found. But it’s impossible to wipe traces of myself from the internet. To start, I have this blog…though it contains no specific personal information about me. But more than that, I have a business with its corporate location as my home address. I am thinking about ending the business though, so perhaps that will close a few gates.
Anyway, this is not very interesting. But the nightmare felt so real that I am rattled.
But instead, I’m sailing. Figuratively. In reality, I’m packing for a weekend camping trip.
But that’s not all! I also watched a new favorite TV show, after I went to the park, after I baked some salmon for dinner. This dinner (salmon with sweet peppers, baked potato, and broccoli) is the second of the new dishes I’ve tried recently. The first was Chicken Tikka Masala, which I made last week with my friends Jenn and Katrina. Both dinners were unexpectedly delicious. Unexpected mostly because they were easy. Delicious despite the fact that they were new.
I’ve been so busy with school recently, but now I’m taking a break for a couple days. It will be nice. I hope it won’t cause me additional stress upon my return. It probably will, but it’s worth it.
This week has been CLASSES CLASSES CLASSES, much like the Gilmore Girls reference to Lorelei’s request for “COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE” but less amusing. It’s hard to believe that Memorial Day was just last weekend…and it was that lack of Monday classes that really threw off my whole week. All of a sudden, everything hit me at once and I didn’t know which fire to put out first. I ended up getting everything done, but the exhaustion I’ve felt so far this weekend is really putting me behind for next week’s classes. I’ll get through it, but not as gracefully as I’d like.
In other news, I’m really enjoying spending time with my summer roommate. She’s great. We’ve just been having random TV marathons together (while I study) because we’re both kind of boring. But in a good way. I’m jealous that she doesn’t have schoolwork, and she’s jealous of the free time I have while she’s working 9-5. But in the evenings we connect and there is much merriment!
I shaved my dog! For the first time ever, the groomers gave her a “puppy cut” at my request. I just wanted to see what it would look like! Bonnie looks strange, but I kind of like it. With this cut, you can tell that she’s got a healthy physique, which I really like.
I’m back to making flashcards to memorize words. This is, of course, for my anatomy class. Never have I encountered a class where so much memorization was necessary. However, my brain is really good at memorizing things. I stink at learning languages, and I struggle to write papers, but I can memorize and make connections where many people cannot. I’m more than a little proud of the things that I am able to memorize, and it definitely comes in handy in classes like this.
Also, I’ve started to get a little paranoid about food. This nutrition class has been quite enjoyable, but definitely eye-opening. It’s so difficult to eat well! It requires CONSTANT VIGILANCE (Harry Potter reference) and a lot of self-control. But as much work as it takes to eat right, I think in the end it’s worth the struggle. I don’t want to be one of those feeble retirees. It’s entirely possible to have a healthy life until you’re 90; my grandfather did it! And I have some of his genes in me! But it’s up to me to make healthier, more nutritious choices.
An apple a day (within a fruit/vegetable/whole grain/lean meats/low-fat dairy diet) keeps the doctor at bay!