Now I'm a Believer

A fairly unbelievable thing happened to me this morning.  I was lying in bed, within that last hour of sleep before I really need to get up, when I was existing in a half-dream state, I had a very odd dream.  As I am sitting here trying to describe it, the images and details are slipping from my head.  However, the subject of the dream was very clear; I was dreaming about renewing a website that is very important to the company my mom left me.  I think in the dream, I had lost the website, which resulted in my losing the income it provides.  Probably a number of other bad things happened, too.

Right away, that doesn’t seem like much of an oddity.  One would assume that I would occasionally dream about the company, because I do manage it now, and it’s important to me.  However, I will be the first to admit that I haven’t been paying as much attention to it as I should be.  That’s not good, of course, but I have had so much else on my mind.  And fear has been limiting me in some ways.  I won’t go into the details, but suffice it to say that websites are the last thing I usually dream about.

So, I woke up from this dream a bit concerned, so I thought I should check.  That was literally the first thing I did after taking the dog out and feeding her.  And when I checked, lo and behold, the website expired yesterday.  Now, my immediate reaction was to freak out.  But then I did a little more research, and discovered that I have a grace period.  In fact, if domains expire at midnight in the owner’s timezone, I had only been delinquent for about 9 hours.  So, I renewed that site (for FIVE YEARS this time), in addition to about 30 others my mom had recommended for renewal, and all was well.

But the odd thing is that I DREAMED ABOUT IT on the very morning it expired.  I refuse to believe that’s just coincidence.

In general, I’m an unbeliever.  I’m not scared of the supernatural, not giving it up for any sort of god, not suckered in by the concepts of luck or fate.  And when people say that their deceased loved ones are watching over them or communicating with them, I don’t give their claims any sort of weight.

However, after tonight, I’ve actually had a change of heart.  I can just see my mom, wherever she is in the afterlife, screaming at me NOT to let my financial security fall apart.  Up until now, any mistakes I’ve made have been small.  However, this mistake would have been absolutely crippling.  I can just imagine…if she is anywhere in the universe or afterlife, she would want to reach out to me on this occasion.  I know, it sounds absolutely impossible.  But it happened, as impossible things sometimes do.

And I think … I think that she could really be there, available to me in my subconscious, when I really need her.  She cared about me so much that there’s no way she would stop trying to take care of me, even after she left this world.  I’m not saying with this realization that I intend to rely on my deceased mother’s dream communication to run my life.  I’m just saying that based on what happened to me today, I believe in the impossible.  And I would be lying if I said it didn’t comfort me, just a little bit.

My mom and all the things she taught me and the wonderful person she was will always be a part of my life.  And for that, I am so grateful.

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