You Make Me Smile

In the midst of so much sadness and turmoil, there are still many things that bring a smile to my face.

I lost my mom last Friday morning. This loss was preceded by a six-month battle with the various symptoms of her cancer, which was only diagnosed four months ago. Because we knew she didn’t have long back in October, I came home immediately to spend time with her. We had so many wonderful adventures. We spent time with my grandparents, took a special trip up to DC, hosted a holiday party, took a trip to the Outer Banks in January, and spent a lot of time with friends and with each other. It’s been the best four months that I could have imagined, apart from the fact that she was sick. And until the last few weeks, the good days did seem to outnumber the bad. But the good part of the way she left is that it was peaceful, and I was with her, and I wasn’t alone thanks to the kindness of a very dear friend.

Since then, I have been literally surrounded with kindness, sympathy, and people that I love. Everyone has come through to be there for me in amazing ways; my Little has barely left my side, and my boyfriend calls and emails me so often that I wonder if he’s taking any time for himself lately. I’m visiting my grandparents as I write this, because it had been too long since I had seen them, and it’s important to be with family at times like this.

Once I get back home, I’m going to try to get back into my usual routine as much as possible. I have a number of affairs to get in order before I leave for Spain to visit Kevin. I’ve got people to see and events to attend. But being busy and being with friends will help me get through this, I think.

Among the many ways that Kevin has been wonderful, he sent me the sweetest Valentine’s gift – a handmade card, and a book of famous love stories. Both because it’s romantic and because I love nonfiction, it’s a really perfect gift. I’m just so happy he’s a part of my life, even though we’re far apart right now. Because on most days, today in particular, I’m thinking about him and I know he’s thinking about me. And that’s a really nice thing to know.

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4 responses to “You Make Me Smile”

  1. A.J. Hobratschk says :

    So very sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. I am however, relieved that she went peaceful and that you were with her. You were truly her inspiration and brought so much joy to her. She was so proud of you…OMG the conversations we had about you – you skydiving and her not knowing until after the fact, your graduation and moving to CA. I have so many fond memories of your mom and will treasure them. Thank you for sharing and know if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to contact us!

  2. Mel Sparrow says :

    If anyone deserves an awesome & loving gift today, it’s you! I’m glad you’re with a great guy and hope you enjoy your trip to Spain!

  3. Laura Pacheco says :

    Hey, this is my first time reading your blog and am really glad I did…. I’ve wanted so badly to come down and be with you over the past week, but the strings of adult life have me stuck in DC for the next few weeks. It sounds like you’re handing this tough time very well, but don’t hesitate to give me a call if you need me for anything. Also, I wanted to send you card but wasn’t sure where you’d be, so know that I am thinking about you and praying for you every day.

    Reading what you wrote about Kevin warms my heart… he sounds like a great guy! I am so glad that you two found each other. 🙂

    Love, BigS

  4. I Write l 2writewithpassion says :

    Hi, today is the first day I have caught up with your blog since I last commented. I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your mom. It must be very hard for you, but it sounds like you had a very special time with each other the last few months. You are sure to go through some ups and downs as you continue to grieve her loss, but I’m sure the good memories will stay with you forever and bring comfort during the hard times.

    I’ve caught up on your other posts and it sounds like you had a great trip to Spain. That is awesome. Looking forward to reading more.

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